WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME

(Diana Ross)

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

10 Health Habits That Will Help You Live to 100

by Deborah Kotz

You don't need to eat yogurt and live on a mountaintop, but you do need to floss.
The biggest factor that determines how well you age is not your genes but how well you live. Not convinced? A new study published in the British Medical Journal of 20,000 British folks shows that you can cut your risk of having a stroke in half by doing the following four things: being active for 30 minutes a day, eating five daily servings of fruit and vegetables, and avoiding cigarettes and excess alcohol.

While those are some of the obvious steps you can take to age well, researchers have discovered that centenarians tend to share certain traits in how they eat, move about, and deal with stress—the sorts of things we can emulate to improve our own aging process. Of course, getting to age 100 is enormously more likely if your parents did. Still, Thomas Perls, who studies the century-plus set at Boston University School of Medicine, believes that assuming you've sidestepped genes for truly fatal diseases like Huntington's, "there's nothing stopping you from living independently well into your 90s." Heck, if your parents and grandparents were heavy smokers, they might have died prematurely without ever reaching their true potential lifespan, so go ahead and shoot for those triple digits by following these 10 habits.

1. Don't retire. "Evidence shows that in societies where people stop working abruptly, the incidence of obesity and chronic disease skyrockets after retirement," says Luigi Ferrucci, director of the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Aging. The Chianti region of Italy, which has a high percentage of centenarians, has a different take on leisure time. "After people retire from their jobs, they spend most of the day working on their little farm, cultivating grapes or vegetables," he says. "They're never really inactive." Farming isn't for you? Volunteer as a docent at your local art museum or join the Experience Corps, a program offered in 19 cities that places senior volunteers in urban public elementary schools for about 15 hours a week.

2. Floss every day. That may help keep your arteries healthy. A 2008 New York University study showed that daily flossing reduced the amount of gum-disease-causing bacteria in the mouth. This bacteria is thought to enter the bloodstream and trigger inflammation in the arteries, a major risk factor for heart disease. Other research has shown that those who have high amounts of bacteria in their mouth are more likely to have thickening in their arteries, another sign of heart disease. "I really do think people should floss twice a day to get the biggest life expectancy benefits," stresses Perls.

3. Move around. "Exercise is the only real fountain of youth that exists," says Jay Olshansky, a professor of medicine and aging researcher at the University of Illinois at Chicago. "It's like the oil and lube job for your car. You don't have to do it, but your car will definitely run better." Study after study has documented the benefits of exercise to improve your mood, mental acuity, balance, muscle mass, and bones. "And the benefits kick in immediately after your first workout," Olshansky adds. Don't worry if you're not a gym rat. Those who see the biggest payoffs are the ones who go from doing nothing to simply walking around the neighborhood or local mall for about 30 minutes a day. Building muscle with resistance training is also ideal, but yoga classes can give you similar strength-training effects if you're not into weight lifting.

4. Eat a fiber-rich cereal for breakfast. Getting a serving of whole-grains, especially in the morning, appears to help older folks maintain stable blood sugar levels throughout the day, according to a recent study conducted by Ferrucci and his colleagues. "Those who do this have a lower incidence of diabetes, a known accelerator of aging," he says.

5. Get at least six hours of shut-eye. Instead of skimping on sleep to add more hours to your day, get more to add years to your life. "Sleep is one of the most important functions that our body uses to regulate and heal cells," says Ferrucci. "We've calculated that the minimum amount of sleep that older people need to get those healing REM phases is about six hours." Those who reach the century mark make sleep a top priority.

6. Consume whole foods, not supplements. Strong evidence suggests that people who have high blood levels of certain nutrients—selenium, beta-carotene, vitamins C and E—age much better and have a slower rate of cognitive decline. Unfortunately, there's no evidence that taking pills with these nutrients provides those antiaging benefits. "There are more than 200 different carotenoids and 200 different flavonoids in a single tomato," points out Ferrucci, "and these chemicals can all have complex interactions that foster health beyond the single nutrients we know about like lycopene or vitamin C." Avoid nutrient-lacking white foods (breads, flour, sugar) and go for all those colorful fruits and vegetables and dark whole-grain breads and cereals with their host of hidden nutrients.

7. Be less neurotic. It may work for Woody Allen, who infuses his worries with a healthy dose of humor, but the rest of us neurotics may want to find a new way to deal with stress. "We have a new study coming out that shows that centenarians tend not to internalize things or dwell on their troubles," says Perls. "They are great at rolling with the punches." If this inborn trait is hard to overcome, find better ways to manage when you're stressed: Yoga, exercise, meditation, tai chi, or just deep breathing for a few moments are all good. Ruminating, eating chips in front of the TV, binge drinking? Bad, very bad.

8. Live like a Seventh Day Adventist. Americans who define themselves as Seventh Day Adventists have an average life expectancy of 89, about a decade longer than the average American. One of the basic tenets of the religion is that it's important to cherish the body that's on loan from God, which means no smoking, alcohol abuse, or overindulging in sweets. Followers typically stick to a vegetarian diet based on fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts, and get plenty of exercise. They're also very focused on family and community.

9. Be a creature of habit. Centenarians tend to live by strict routines, says Olshansky, eating the same kind of diet and doing the same kinds of activities their whole lives. Going to bed and waking up at the same time each day is another good habit to keep your body in the steady equilibrium that can be easily disrupted as you get on in years. "Your physiology becomes frailer when you get older," explains Ferrucci, "and it's harder for your body to bounce back if you, say, miss a few hours of sleep one night or drink too much alcohol." This can weaken immune defenses, leaving you more susceptible to circulating flu viruses or bacterial infections.

10. Stay connected. Having regular social contacts with friends and loved ones is key to avoiding depression, which can lead to premature death, something that's particularly prevalent in elderly widows and widowers. Some psychologists even think that one of the biggest benefits elderly folks get from exercise the strong social interactions that come from walking with a buddy or taking a group exercise class. Having a daily connection with a close friend or family member gives older folks the added benefit of having someone watch their back. "They'll tell you if they think your memory is going or if you seem more withdrawn," says Perls, "and they might push you to see a doctor before you recognize that you need to see one yourself."

Caleg

Pemilu 2009 sebagai perhelatan demokrasi Indonesia sudah selesai. Pendidikan politik untuk rakyat berjalan dengan timbunan pertanyaan dan makian. Golongan tidak memilih semakin banyak karena tak lagi percaya dengan sistem demokrasi amburadul. Memilih wakil mereka tanpa kenal kapasitas dan integritas mereka adalah sebuah kebodohan. Kaum terpelajar banyak menyatakan tidak memilih. Mahasiswa saya di kampus pun dengan enteng menyatakan "golput" terhadap pemilu.

Ibu saya yang sudah tua saja memutuskan malas menyontreng karena kertas suara terlalu lebar dan gambar partai terlalu banyak. Dia hanya tahu gambar lama PNI atau Golkar dan Kabah. Dia hanya tahu ada paku "glugu" yang digunakan untuk mencoblos. Beliau cerita kalau saat pemilu, beliau lama terpekur di bilik suara. Kebetulan kakakku ada di bilik samping. Ibuku berbisik, "Haryati, priben cara milihe? Gambar sing dicoret sing endhi?". Haryati tidak mendengar atau karena takut dia dinilai mempengaruhi otak pemilih lain. Akhirnya ibuku menutup kembali kertas suara dan memasukkan ke dalam kotak tanpa menentukan pilihannya. Saya acungi jempol buat ibu saya yang cerdas untuk memutuskan tidak memilih karena hal teknis yang tak humanis. Dikiranya orang Indonesia itu sama cerdasnya dengan para pegiat KPU atau para intelektual pendiri partai.

Pemerintah sudah saatnya membatasi jumlah parpol demi kenyamanan para pemilih. Apa sih urgensinya membuat banyak parpol dan banyak bendera? Bendera dan atribut parpol merusak pemandangan. Foto-foto dan poster yang ditempel sembarang menambah kesan kumuh dan semrawut. Belum lagi pohon yang dikorbankan untuk memampang foto caleg mereka. Mbok ya bersatu dan samakan visi dan misi kalau memang mereka ingin membangkitkan Indonesia yang sudah lama terjengkang karena krisis multidimensi.

Tapi di sisi lain mereka dinilai mampu menggeliatkan ekonomi rakyat sesaat. Tukang jahit dan sablon kebanjiran order. Pedagang asongan semakin banyak menyedot uang dari acara kampanye. Pemulung semakin tambah rejeki karena botol dan sampah plastik begitu menggunung setelah resepsi kampanye usai. Orang mencipta sampah dan berkah secara bersamaan. Belum lagi manusia-manusia dengan mindset proyek bisa berhip-hip hura-hura karena dapat persenan dari rekanan. Ke depan bagi mereka yang masih beronani dengan syahwat politik, lebih baik sumbangkan pikiran dan uang Anda ke masyarakat langsung. Tak perlu berfikir mendapat untung. Anda berbuat baik demi rakyat adalah kepahlawanan yang akan digores dengan tinta emas memori kebajikan.

Para caleg saat ini sedang menunggu hasil. Bagai orang yang menunggu takdir kematian. Bagi mereka yang menang, senyum mengembang dan pundi-pundi uang semakin terbayang. Bagi mereka yang jadi pecundang, masa depan semakin runyam dan kelam. Uang ratusan juta semakin tak jelas arahnya. Hutang ke sana ke mari harus dibayar. Sudah jamak beritanya bahwa banyak mantan caleg yang menderita depresi, gila, kena serangan jantung, dan meninggal dunia. Betapa mereka tidak gila dan edan seumur-umur. Mereka tidak memiliki jiwa mengabdi dan ikhlash melakukan sesuatu. Mereka ingin timbal balik keuntungan berlipat. Mereka orang-orang kere yang tidak siap untuk kalah. Mereka "dikerjai" oleh trend menjadi politisi yang digaji tinggi. Usaha memperbaiki nasib malah berubah petaka yang mencoreng muka sendiri. Mereka ingin seperti artis yang hanya dengan modal terkenal dan kemampuan pas-pasan bisa lolos ke Senayan.

Rumah sakit gila sudah menyiapkan ruang VIP (Verry Insane People) untuk nginap barang beberapa bulan. Mereka tidak mungkin ditaruh di rumah karena bakal menjadi olok-olok tetangga. Atau menjadi makian banyak orang karena obral 1001 janji yang berujung pepesan kosong. Depresi semakin menghujam ke relung kejiwaan mereka. Butuh waktu lama untuk menjadi manusia normal. Modal sudah menguap, tinggal badan berkalang kemiskinan yang tak menyisakan kepedulian orang lain.

Caleg yang tak mampu menginap di ruang VIP, akhirnya membuat onar. Semisal caleg gagal yang meminta barang sumbangannya ditarik kembali. Urusan teve yang disumbangkan kepada pangkalan ojek yang kemudian diminta kembali merupakan anomali. Sumbangan karpet kepada majlis taklim yang diminta kembali semakin bisa menakar integritas mereka. Entahlah saya tidak tahu berapa persen sih caleg yang betul-betul berjuang untuk rakyat dan mengabdikan dirinya untuk kemaslahatan bersama? Jangan-jangan caleg terpilih saat ini pun akan sama hanya menghabiskan anggaran negara. Kerja mereka tidur ketika sidang dan narasi intelektual dari mulut mereka hanya sampah bertaburan. Rakyat kembali ditipu.... sampai kapan "kebo bungkang nyabrang kali bengawan"? Kapan saya akan bisa melihat rakyat melek dan memilih calon mereka dengan cerdas tanpa motivasi duit? bagi yang minta jadi caleg, mending Anda berfikir ulang kalau belum siap untuk kejatuhan stress!

Ciputat, 20/4/09