Sweat and Sweet

Early March 2003 was the onset of my life history when I came alone to the 'grey' city of Melbourne. I came for study at Monash University under the sponsorship of Australia-Asia Award. I thought my feelings were just the same with these of other international students when they embarked at the first time on such a lonely place. I'd never dreamt to be a 'Melbournian'. Adjusting myself to the exotic weather of Melbourne was little bit thorny, as I just realised that this city is indeed a heaven with four seasons in one day. Melbourne was unlike Jakarta whose weather is warm and humid all the times. Yet, sooner I began to acclimatise myself to such a new environment and enjoyed often drastic climate changes. Natural climate was not that big deal as my body can easily fiddle with such a unique climate. Nonetheless, heaps of pitfalls were waiting for me at this fortress of intellectual training. In this short essay I would like to share my happiness and sorrow as an International student. So that why I put title “sweat and sweet being an international student” for this article.

It was my second stay in Australia, as in 1999 to 2000 I lived in Adelaide doing my masters at Flinders University under the support of ADS. Living in Melbourne was quite new experience for me. It was then I had to learn to adjust my life with the academic climate at Monash University. In the beginning, I did not know what I should do as a new PhD student at the School of Education. My campus was located in Clayton. On the first week I just wandered and strolled around the campus by my own, tried to familiarise myself with the buildings and facilities. I found it was quite stunning and interesting, since the campus provided whole range of facilities for various students.

Religious facilities are also provided for multi-faith students at the religious centre. I saw a Muslim prayer room at the centre was available for Muslim students. The Beddoe ‘mosque’ that was located in the end north-west of campus was the meeting point for Muslim students. Booklets on Islam and halal food were also available at the administration building; the information was very informative and helpful for me as a new Muslim student. Hence, I did not find any serious problem in conducting my belief and ritual activities.

Being a PhD student, I had to admit that my life activity was considered as a twenty-four hour and seven day activity. I found no holiday at all, as times were so demanding and critical. Clock always ticked endlessly and run so preciously. Thanks to Monash University that provided a 24 hour access for a student like me. There was no word “finish” after seeing my supervisor, as there was always one task after another, headache after headache. For example, after having discussion and receiving my supervisor's feedbacks I had to think of doing another thing. Days were always full of reading and writing. When I was getting stuck and being trapped within the cage of nowhere, I questioned myself as to why my mind just went idle and was empty of creativity. In this condition, I was so gloomy and frustated.

It was often distressed when I had to devour books that full of difficult words and knotty discussion. I know it was due to my shortages and lacks of reading ability. When I was cornered by this reality, I felt so frustrated and poignant. In addition, I felt flummoxed as to the direction of my study. Sometimes I pushed myself to do something even writing a tiny peace of paragraph. But, I plunged myself into a point of darkness when sitting in front of the computer. My mind was lying idle and was not able to capture ideas let alone push them out from the head. In this frustrating situation, I emailed my supervisor about my obscurity in a hope that I could release myself from such a giddy situation. Additionally, meeting with my supervisor was quite impressive. I found the relationships between students and supervisors are no more than an ‘academic-friendship’. Discussion took place in informal way and there was no such an imposing ideas to me from my supervisor. I always found ideas were offered and suggested. The last decision was laid in my mind whether I accepted them or otherwise. Although it was deemed as an ‘academic-friendship’, be punctual and self disciplined was a must if I had to finish on time. Clearly, in such a friendly atmosphere of discussion I felt very much welcome and privileged in this campus. In short, I felt free from daunting burdens for a while.

To lessen the burdens of academic problems I tried to share my difficulties with my friends in the office and heard their experience in handling such problems. I needed to hear other people’s experiences when they ran into academic problems. I believed my problems were just the same as other international students'. Having nice friends was very beneficial and rewarding in terms of building self-esteem and confidence, not to mention forcing myself to practice my conversation skill in a friendly informal discussion. To develop a good friendship, sometimes we went to the cafés within the campus just for having yarn and refreshing mind and enjoying the fresh air.

In terms of writing up my thesis, I found that the more I wrote, the more I did not know; the more I read, the more I felt more stupid. It was like diving in a deep and dark ocean where I had to portray a clear picture of what I was attempting to unravel. Not only did I explore information from various
literatures, but I was also pushed to use my critical capacity in digesting such information. Like many other Asian students, I did not use to criticise and disagree openly against other people’s opinion, particularly those who were considered as knowledgeable people. I considered the authors from whom I borrow their ideas and my supervisor with whom I always discussed on my study as the knowledgeable people that had to be respected. For me, criticising them was seen culturally impolite and ethically unaccepted. I knew it was wrong perspective, and it indeed took times to be critical. I was told that to be critical, one should apply a negative thinking on everything and tried to question all phenomena surrounding ourselves.

Sharing our thoughts can also be carried out in formal forums, such as conferences and seminars. Through the financial support of the University’s travel grant scheme, I was able to attend and present my work at some occasions, such as national conference at the University of Queensland, Indonesian Conference at ANU, Post-Graduate Conference at Curtin University, International Symposium in Jakarta, International conference in Chiang Mai and the like. Monash was so generous in supporting students to disseminate their findings and work to a wider community inside and outside campus. The forums were very useful in building networks of intellectual and having feedbacks and appreciations from various people.

While I was struggling for the thesis writing-up, I suffered from ‘home-sweet-home’ syndrome. Admittedly, the problem encountered was not only stemming from academic arena, but also from the socio-psychological needs. I had to admit that I was often in need to eliminate my loneliness; I did not want to be only confined to my office and working in front of the computer. I needed a social activity to refresh my mind and just to escape for a while from my hurly burly study. Fortunately, the Faculty of Education always organised student trips every semester and informal afternoon tea with other International students every first Wednesday on each month. I considered these activities were a means of student socialisation and building friendships among International students. I still remembered that my first trip was going to the Great Ocean Road. I was very much delighted as this trip was not exclusively for a particular group of International scholarship students or a specific nation. To develop more 'socialisation' atmosphere, actually I need a kind of morning or afternoon tea forum in which students and staff could gather and know each other. Unfortunately, up to the present day, I could hardly recognise the names of the staff although there was a board of photos of the staff members displayed in the faculty’s foyer. Yet, for me it was no more than a gallery of photos, since there was no regular rendezvous for students and staff at this faculty. I only knew the names of those who were friendly in the faculty.

Socially and culturally, Monash University was rich of cultural diversity. Student centre was evidence where food was not dominated by Aussie food. Luckily, I met some Indonesian students and was involved in MIIS (Monash Indonesian Islamic Society) in which I could enjoy my home-country atmosphere, since this organisation invited monthly gathering to have discussion and taste Indonesian food! Fortunately, I also met some Indonesian elders who had been residing in Australia for many years. It was remarkably noticeable that the Indonesian students and the Indonesian permanent residents in Melbourne could assemble and strengthen the sense of Indonesian nationality in Australia. Perwira and Ikawiria were two social organisations in Melbourne for Indonesian people and those who were interested in Indonesia. Westall mosque is Indonesian Muslim venue where Indonesian Muslims find mosque with Indonesian flavour. Spiritual attachment to the home-country is very evident, especially when the most appalling Tsunami disaster hit Aceh. In Melbourne, Indonesians and other communities were hand in hand to collect donations to help the most victimised of Acehnese. To sum up, living in Australia does not mean that we are only busy with academic and campus lives, but life should not ignore our social activities either in campus or outside campus.